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Why a whelk...

9 August 1974
Holiday Inn, Paramus

"No," said Ford firmly. "We must go to the party in order to drink a lot and dance with girls."

"But haven't you understood everything I ...?"

"Yes," said Ford, with a sudden and unexpected fierceness, "I've understood it all perfectly well. That's why I want to have as many drinks and dance with as many girls as possible while there are still any left. If everything you've shown us is true ..."

"True? Of course it's true."

"... then we don't stand a whelk's chance in a supernova."

"A what?" said Arthur sharply again. He had been following the conversation doggedly up to this point, and was keen not to lose the thread now.

"A whelk's chance in a supernova," repeated Ford without losing momentum. "The ..."

"What's a whelk got to do with a supernova?" said Arthur.

"It doesn't," said Ford levelly, "stand a chance in one."

He paused to see if the matter was now cleared up. The freshly puzzled looks clambering across Arthur's face told him that it wasn't.

"A supernova," said Ford as quickly and as clearly as he could, "is a star which explodes at almost half the speed of light and burns with the brightness of a billion suns and then collapses as a super-heavy neutron star. It's a star which burns up other stars, got it? Nothing stands a chance in a supernova."

"I see," said Arthur.

"The ..."

"So why a whelk particularly?"

"Why not a whelk? Doesn't matter."

This is the fannish journal of Why A. Whelk, wherein I discuss Doctor Who and Torchwood until it makes my eyes bleed. My private journal, which focuses on my domestic life, can be found at whyawhelk.

Some quick notes of order:
  • Please comment, somewhere, anywhere, if you've friended me and you want to be friended back, I appreciate the introduction. I'm laughably slow at friending people back, so don't take that personally, I'm just extremely lazy.

  • Yes, my icons are snaggable, no need to ask, but please credit me in the userpic comments.

  • I don't do Real Person Fiction, slash or otherwise. Please don't point me at it or rec it, I find it distasteful. On that same note, I do not care about the private lives of actors I may happen to discuss in this journal, so please do not go there. While I reserve the right to scrutinise and discuss at length any actor's pie consumption or penis size, I, perversely, do not wish to engage in any discussion in this journal regarding their real-life-private-people-girl-and-or-boyfriends, no matter how cute you think they are together. (And, yes, I know, I have broken that rule myself on more than one occasion, but I am striving not to do so. We can beat this together.) On that same note, if you're the type of person to be offended by said pie/penis type discussion, it's probably best to just go elsewhere.

  • Since there's been wank recently, just a note: I don't mind being quoted or referenced, not that I write anything that quotable or indeed scholarly. But please be so kind as to leave a private message or comment in the post you wish to quote, reference or link to. Anonymous posting is ON in this journal, though I do track IP's for spam and banning purposes.

  • If you've come here looking for that thing everyone's looking for, which is, let's face it, probably that picspam about Ianto's metaphorical cock, its metaphorical size, and how all that relates to who's in charge in the Jack/Ianto dynamic, it's here. Have fun.