This journal isn't friends-only for fannish stuff, but it is for everything else.

Comment here to be friended. My friendslist isn't exclusive or special and you don't have to grovel or tell me I'm great, anyone who wants to read and comment is more than welcome, all I ask is that you say hi here so I know who you are.

Hi.

NOTE: IF YOU TWITTER TO YOUR LJ AND DON'T HAVE A COURTESY FRIENDS-FILTER SO I CAN OPT OUT, YOU WILL BE CUT. I DON'T WANT TO READ YOUR TWEETS, IF I DID, I'D BE ON TWITTER.

Does anyone know what happened to rivier? Was it something to do with PDFWank? Because lord knows it's made me want to delete myself out of existence to be associated with such an ill-conceived and poorly executed file of fangirly butthurt.

Maybe the whole thing was some sort of masterplan thought up by the whovian fannish elite to weed out those they perceive to be Torchwankers by heaping so much embarrassment squick upon them that they leave fandom forever rather than be tarnished with it? Maybe that was it?

I think it's worked. I was just about to post a load of shizzle about Torchwood, too, but I just can't be fucked anymore. Here, have Sue Sylvester.

Big Bang Theory's on tonight. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

First of all: who_anon, GIVE IT A FUCKING REST ALREADY. I defended Kate Orman's way of writing and thinking once because she was my friend, not just LJ-friend, but Christmas-card-style friend. She defriended me because I didn't like Children of Earth or probably because I called RTD a hack or something, but I still stand by what I said, she analyses things way too carefully, that how she tries to understand stuff. The way she does that and the things she says while doing it have a tendency to offend people because it comes across as extremely patronising. She means well, but she doesn't express herself too well. Whether or not she's a racist is a debate I don't have an opinion on. Calling me a racist for once attempting to defend someone I thought was my friend is fucking pathetic. SO GIVE IT A REST ALREADY. YOU ARE ALL FUCKING PATHETIC.

Secondly: OH MY INBOX RUNNETH OVER.

Okay, let me make my position absolutely clear here: I have nothing against the Save Coffee Boy community. I have nothing against the Children in Need campaign. I love everyone who's trying to bring Ianto back, who is passionate about it, I fully understand where those people are coming from and you'll get no hate from me, I miss him too. I MISS IANTO JONES, OKAY? I do.

BUT. I am angry that the savecoffeeboy community has gone members only, and while being members only, has done stuff, in secret, that we non-members knew nothing about, that involved us. In my case, my words were quoted in the SIJReport, an image I made was used, a section of text was quoted from savecoffeeboy that implies one can support their campaign to bring back Ianto by donating to the pony fund. That's not true. I am upset that I have been made to look like I am a part of a group of people who would spend their precious time putting together a 436-page PDF report on a fictional character, why? Because it makes me look like my priorities are fucking skewed. It supports people like RTD who say "can't you spend your time actually going to make a difference out there in the real world?" Because that's true. Because when you put this much effort into a pointless fannish thing, seriously guys, THAT ACCUSATION IS PERFECTLY JUSTIFIED. I am upset because of the blatant misogyny in the report, I feel tainted by it by having my name in it. They took my name, and by not being able to write a coherent report, made it look like I was a part of their campaign. It's not the report so much that offends me, it's the complete incoherency of it. It's not clear whether it's ABOUT savecoffeeboy or if it's been WRITTEN BY savecoffeeboy, it's not made clear whether the people quoted support the aims of SCB or whether they're just randomly quoted for no reason. The entire report is so incoherent it renders everyone mentioned in it completely moronic. And I'm fucking upset about that, you bet I am. You can take me out now, but it's too late, you've sent it to the BBC and made me look like an idiot. Luckily, I'm not one of the people whose actual personal photos you reproduced, because if one of those people were to, for instance, apply for a job at the BBC, they'd be pointed and laughed at. (And don't think for a minute this report is going to get binned by the BEEB because it's ridic. It's not often an office gets sent 436 pages of luls to pass around. And around.)

Yes, report authors, I am angry. I have every right to be angry, so stop telling me I don't. I am angry I'm mentioned in this and you never asked if that was okay. I am righteously fucking angry that THIS is the book you rudely gave to JB at collectormania before stomping off, my name is in this, it looks like I endorse that kind of PATHETIC behaviour. I AM ANGRY. This is how I react when I'm angry, so I guess you just picked the wrong person to blockquote. Sorry about that.

Mostly, I'm offended that something has been put out there into the world that makes it look like I, tencrush, whelk to her friends, would willingly be a part of any document that uses and abuses SO MANY FUCKING FONTS. I feel dirty.

When you DECLINE my request to join the savecoffeeboy community, a request I submitted in order to attempt to find out if this MASSIVE PDF was an official document of yours, or a personal project, you really make yourselves look like you're up to something if not suspicious, at the least really rather bordering on the crazy side.

I've PM'd you guys and I've mailed you, whoever's in charge of this document:

TAKE MY NAME, MY WORDS, MY COMMUNITY, MY PONY CAMPAIGN AND MY IMAGES OUT OF YOUR GARGANTUAN FILE OF BATSHIT. I am not affiliated with your insanity.

Okay, so I've been browsing this PDF of Save Ianto batshittery (I'm not saying the content is batshittery, the content is basically ALL OF THE INTERNET'S opinions about bringing back Ianto, the fact that someone actually put it together, though, really shows a disturbed mind at work). I've only managed to lightly skim about 100 pages of this 400 page (YOU'RE READING THAT CORRECTLY) and already I've been blockquoted and my graphics have been used and I DON'T EVEN SUPPORT THE SAVE IANTO JONES CAMPAIGN. Where do I go to complain about this bullshit?

See, and the reason I don't support the Save Ianto Jones campaign, is that it SO VAST AND SPRAWLING as to encompass all these sorts of levels of complete insanity. It's actually too big a project, encompassing ANYONE who is passionate about the subject, and allowing anyone with the inclination to make four hundred page pdf files the opportunity to speak on behalf of the campaign and all its members. And if people like this AREN'T speaking on behalf of the Save Coffee Boy campaign, then I'm afraid the Save Coffee Boy campaign isn't doing an awful lot to make that clear. (Going members-only, by the way? That's totally weird and makes you look more batshit than the vast majority of you are.)

And, you see, this is why I asked people to give money to ponies instead.

PONIES AREN'T THIS CRAZY, DUDES.

As of January, well as of right now, really, this journal will be purely about fannish things. There will be no friendslocked content, and anything I used to post here under friendslock about myself, my house, my family, whatever, will be posted at whyawhelk. Content there will be mostly friendslocked. If you wish to continue talking to me on a personal level, you're welcome to friend that journal, though if I've never talked to you on a personal level before, it's unlikely that I will friend you back. If I have, I will, so please feel free.

It's been fun, but I'm sick of the fucking fuckery. If whyawhelk has friended you today, consider it an open invite to join me over there, if you want to. If whyawhelk hasn't friended you, don't take it personally, I'm still working on inviting people over, but I'm a bit swamped today.

Sue me. It's the last one. Here's your cross stitch TARDIS.



I'm done now, honest.

I moved the bump and coloured them in for you.

New skool


Old skool


I'm off to do the TARDIS.

Umm... I made a NewWho Dalek cross stitch pattern. Don't ask me why, I was arsing around in Photoshop with grids.

Here, have it.



Do something with it, Lord knows I probably never will. (Obviously, if you do use it that would be for personal non-commercial use only as I don't own NewWho. Disclaimer ends.)

Having looked and looked and looked at it now, I have to say that I believe the fourth dalek bump in the second row should be moved one box over to the right. I might even just upload a new one because that is how anal I am.

COLOUR VERSIONS

I did wonder why I was getting teh snowflakes. I thought people were gathering together and spending their money to make me feel like a SPESHUL SNOWFLAKE.

Thank you, guys.

I AM SICK. Sympathise.

The meme has a troll! Yay troll! I'd say trolling is bad but in this case I'm willing to make an exception. I still wish they would permanently turn IP logging on, A) so I can prove it's not me and B) because that would make anon wankers possibly stop being such fucking cunts to people. Not that it would, but still.

( This week in memery... FAMILIAR NAKED MEN )

*waves at meme*
I never said anything about sunbeams, tossbag. As long as random anon wankers keep trawling my journal (and again, guys, what, like 10 minutes for the linkback? Pretty good going!) for no reason, I'm going to keep reading yours. It's fucking hilarious.

flohkatie found a picture for me, and as people have started to blog about this campaign, they've started to appear online. For the uninitiated, here it is:



Discovery Channel: Niet Bestemd voor Vrouwenogen. Not meant for women's eyes.
Tagline: Discovery Channel biedt: televisie die mannen willen zien: spannend, slim, interessant, avontuurlijk, en vooral echt. Kijk zelf maar. Discovery Channel offers: television men want to see: exciting, smart, interesting, adventurous, and above all, real. See for yourself.

( AND THEN THE FAILBOAT ARRIVES, WITH THE CREW OF DEADLIEST CATCH )

FAIL, DISCOVERY CHANNEL. SO MUCH FUCKING FAIL. TIME TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH NOW.

I WISH TO GOD I could find a picture of it on the internets, but I can't at the moment. There's an ad campaign running in bus stops in Holland at the moment for the Discovery Channel. It features a man with a woman's eyes photoshopped onto his fayce. It says underneath: Discovery Channel - Niet Bestemd voor Vrouwenogen (not meant for women's eyes).

I did a bit of a double take, I have to admit. Now first of all, I have to explain that I only recently started watching Dicovery Channel again when I got a new cable package. MYTHBUSTERS YAY!! I recall dipping back into it and remarking on occasion that there seemed to suddenly be an awful lot of shows about motorcycles and women tattooing each other. But I never really gave it much more thought than that. And then this ad showed up and I remembered the thing about the motorcycles, so I had a bit of a squizz on the internet and according to the dutch press release about the campaign, Discovery Channel Netherlands is Holland's Number One Men's Channel, which, a few years ago took the bold step of targeting itself exclusively at the male market. The incredibly heterosexual blowing-things-up-tattooed-women-and-motorcycles market.

I'M SORRY, BUT WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? WHEN DID THIS MEETING OCCUR? I realise I'm probably INCREDIBLY BEHIND THE TIMES here, but WHAT????

I did a bit more research and I couldn't really find out anything more about this new target audience of what to me, a few years ago anyway, was an interesting educational channel with skience and shit. For EVERYBODY. And, above all, I couldn't find out if this retargeting was a global thing, or just something to do with Discovery Holland. Their website is INCREDIBLY masculine looking, but despite the enthused tones of the press release, I don't see any words on any of their sites, even the dutch one, claiming that it's a blokes' channel. For blokes.

What's going on?

Can I blame Richard Hammond for all this? The whole science=blowingstuffup=blokes shit? I somehow think I should be.

But this is fucking excellent.



And for those of you more into lolcats, please feel free to make yourself one of these.

MAKE YOUR OWN CEILING CAT

I know I am.

( Me and who_anon. Way too long to read, but it's my once-every-so-many-months rant, so deal, dudes. )

And no, obviously, this isn't friendslocked, like I said, I'd like to contribute in some small way to the place dying. Of course I read it, I claimed once (maybe twice? okay maybe three times) that I was going to stop reading it, and I did, for a time, but then gossip happens and I go right back. I'd love for there to be a pure whovian gossip comm. And by that I mean I wish ohnowhodidnt had actual gossip. Why can't we do that, people? We should get on that. Not me, though. Somebody else.

A meme! Which everyone and their brother seems to be doing, but most recently rowanheart24 and alba17

1) List 5 celebrities you would have sex with without even asking questions.
2) Put all of them in order of your lust for them [5 - 1 with 1 being the hottest].
3) Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
4) Supply photos for said people.
5) Tag five friends to do the same. This part's optional and I'm not doing it, but feel free...

( IS HAWT. Warning... breasts and squidgy-faced actor types. )

My brain is all wrong.

Is NOBODY watching Misfits with me? Fluffy-yet-compelling E4 superhero dramedy?

Nobody? Anyone? Bueller?

Meh.

For any of you wanting to properly participate over at who_anon.

• Read something on the journal of an acceptable meme target. I'm always good for a laugh, as is karaokegal, lately rivier is good too, anyone into Torchwood is always a good choice, because liking Torchwood is an inherently mockworthy thing on the meme anyway, so you're guaranteed a bunch of people jumping in and making you feel good about yourself by agreeing with you on how much of a twat said target is.
• Fail to read the actual post, sum it up correctly, or understand what it's about and just post a link with as little explanation as possible. Maybe a "lol" or something.
• Wait for everyone to pile in and join you in failing to read the post in question, misquoting parts of it, assigning meanings to things that aren't implied in the text and being generally amusing about how much of a twat the poster is for posting words on their personal journal.
• Sit back, safe in the knowledge that the mocked poster will not jump in to defend themselves on the meme or elsewhere, for fear of causing an infinite loop of ever more hateful and personal wank, so you can just comment on, say, their parenting skills as much as you like, nobody really cares, do they?
  
  ADDITIONAL STEPS AS OF POST COE FALLOUT:
• Wait for someone to step up and smack you down for posting the original link because surely people can post what they want in their journals and it's not particularly mockworthy and can't we all just get along?
• Jump on that person and call them "meme nanny" or "troll" or both if the mood takes you.
• Fight amongst yourselves, take it to the mod post and generally act like a bunch of childish cunts.
• Be righteously indignant when anyone points out that you are, in fact, all a bunch of childish, pathetic cunts.
• Call that person a troll.
• Start over.

Good Lord, it must be so tedious participating over there. But if you feel the need, that's all you need to know.

You're welcome, dudes. As you were.

Just keeping you posted.

From Julie Gardener('s assistant's assistant):

""'The Waters of Mars' is an episode written to begin the regeneration story for David Tennant's Tenth Doctor. As such we felt the story naturally demanded an occasionally dark tone.

...

There are two episodes still to transmit under my guidance as the series' executive producer. I can assure you that there will be much festive cheer as well as action adventure in the forthcoming regeneration story."

Really? How does one manage to end the story that demands a dark tone with "festive cheer" and "action adventure", Julie?? You seem to be contradicting yourself there. Make your mind up. ASPLAIN YOURSELF TO ME.

( SPOILERS )

And not enough people have read this succinct critical review of Waters of Mars. It's by cryptile and it's here:

It occurs to me that something is a bit wrong with one's escapism when scrubbing the toilet is preferable to watching it, but that's sort of been the case with Doctor Who lately.